Archive for March 2011

I hope everyone is looking forward to the prom on Saturday! I know we are! So I’m going to go ahead and introduce the wonderful entertainers for the night! Feel free tell them each how much you adore them just as we do! Visit their websites and give them a shout out or feel free to hire them for your upcoming events!

Mr. Abs and Keyshia Carr both perform all over OKC. Check out their profiles here and at the links provided!!!

Mr. Abs


Check out more of Mr. Abs performances on youtube.

Mr. Abs Facebook

Mr. Abs Youtube

Keyshia Carr

Keyshia Carr Facebook

DJ Rikki Shay

A little example of what DJ Rikki Shay has in store for us….

DJ Rikki Shay Facebook

You may be wondering what types of topics that we discuss at our weekly youth meetings. OKCYU goes over a host of interesting discussions. Yesterday, a very insightful facilitator brought the Cass Model to discuss with the youth. It was an awesome conversation! Take a look at each stage and see if you identify with one of the stages.

Cass Model of Gay/Lesbian Identity Development

Adoption of a gay/lesbian identity is a developmental process of recognizing, accepting, and ultimately affirming one’s gay or lesbian sexual orientation that encompasses six stages.

STAGE 1: Identity Confusion – Characterized by feelings of turmoil, in which one questions previously held assumptions about one’s sexual orientation.

Task: Who am I? – Accept, Deny, Reject.

Possible Responses: Will avoid information about lesbians and gays; inhibit behavior; deny homosexuality (“experimenting,” “an accident,” “just drunk”). Males: May keep emotional involvement separate from sexual contact; Females: May have deep relationships that are non-sexual, though strongly emotional.

Possible Needs: May explore internal positive and negative judgments. Will be permitted to be uncertain regarding sexual identity. May find support in knowing that sexual behavior occurs along a spectrum. May receive permission and encouragement to explore sexual identity as a normal experience (like career identity, and social identity).

STAGE 2: Identity Comparison – Characterized by feelings of alienation in which one accepts that possibility of being gay or lesbian and becomes isolated from non-gay others.

Task: Deal with social alienation.

Possible Responses: May begin to grieve for losses and the things she or he will give up by embracing their sexual orientation. May compartmentalize their own sexuality. Accepts lesbian, gay definition of behavior but maintains “heterosexual” identity of self. Tells oneself, “It’s only temporary”; “I’m just in love with this particular woman/man”; etc.

Possible Needs: Will be very important that the person develops own definitions. Will need information about sexual identity, lesbian, gay community resources, encouragement to talk about loss of heterosexual life expectations. May be permitted to keep some “heterosexual” identity (it is not an all or none issue).

STAGE 3: Identity Tolerance – Characterized by feelings of ambivalence in which one seeks out other gays and lesbians but maintains separate public and private images.

Task: Decrease social alienation by seeking out lesbians and gays.

Possible Responses: Beginning to have language to talk and think about the issue. Recognition that being lesbian or gay does not preclude other options. Accentuates difference between self and heterosexuals. Seeks out lesbian and gay culture (positive contact leads to more positive sense of self, negative contact leads to devaluation of the culture, stops growth). May try out variety of stereotypical roles.

Possible Needs: Be supported in exploring own shame feelings derived from heterosexism, as well as external heterosexism. Receive support in finding positive lesbian, gay community connections. It is particularly important for the person to know community resources.

STAGE 4: Identity Acceptance – Characterized by selective disclosure in which one begins the legitimization (publicly as well as privately) of one’s sexual orientation.

Task: Deal with inner tension of no longer subscribing to society’s norm, attempt to bring congruence between private and public view of self.

Possible Responses: Accepts gay or lesbian self-identification. May compartmentalize “gay life”. Maintains less and less contact with heterosexual community. Attempts to “fit in” and “not make waves” within the gay and lesbian community. Begins some selective disclosures of sexual identity. More social coming out; more comfortable being seen with groups of men or women that are identified as “gay”. More realistic evaluation of situation.

Possible Needs: Continue exploring grief and loss of heterosexual life expectations. Continue exploring internalized “homophobia” (learned shame for heterosexist society). Find support in making decisions about where, when, and to whom he or she self discloses.

STAGE 5: Identity Pride – Characterized by anger, pride, and activism in which one becomes immersed in the gay subculture and rejects non-gay people, institutions, and values.

Task: Deal with incongruent views of heterosexuals.

Possible Responses: Splits world into “gay” (good) and “straight” (bad). Experiences disclosure crises with heterosexuals, as he or she is less willing to blend in. Identifies gay culture as sole source of support; all gay friends, business connections, social connections.

Possible Needs: Receive support for exploring anger issues. Find support for exploring issues of heterosexism. Develop skills for coping with reactions and responses to disclosure of sexual identity. Resist being defensive!

STAGE 6: Identity Synthesis – Characterized by clarity and acceptance in which one moves beyond the dichotomized worldview to an incorporation of one’s sexual orientation as one aspect of a more integrated identity.

Task: Integrate gay and lesbian identity so that instead of being the identity, it is one aspect of self.

Possible Responses: Continues to be angry at heterosexism, but with decreased intensity. Allows trust of others to increase and build. Gay and lesbian identity is integrated with all aspects of “self.” Feels all right to move out into the community and not simply define space according to sexual orientation.

Possible Needs: Continues to be angry at heterosexism, but with decreased intensity. Allows trust of others to increase and build. Gay and lesbian identity is integrated with all aspects of “self.” Feels all right to move out into the community and not simply define space according to sexual orientation.

Source: Adapted from Cass, V. Homosexual Identity Development, 1979.

DJ Rikki Shay has confirmed his availability to host our wonderful prom that’s coming up in only 9 days!!!

We can’t wait to hear all the wonderful dance mixes that he has put together for us!

Speaking of prom, if you would like to promote our event, just click on our 2011 Prom tab for detailed info or hit the contact us link to get information on how you can get a poster to display.

Also, if you’d like to get $10 tickets before prom (and are between the ages of 14-20) come to our weekly meeting tonight at First Unitarian at 5:30!

On another note, The Equality Network is hosting their second annual equality day at the Oklahoma State Capitol on Wednesday March 30 from 9 am – 2 pm. Your presence could greatly impact the present legislation on hate crimes and anti-bullying. Also you could tell everyone there about the prom, just a thought. If you would like to learn more and register to attend click here!

Josh Barry says “let go of the fear and embrace” yourself. A very brave and true to life coming out story on EscapeOKC today.

” It is funny how four simple, single syllable words can cause so much worry.

I realized I was gay at the age of 13, though I didn’t fully accept it myself until I was 16. That being said, I never titled myself as straight, gay, or even bisexual. I was just Josh…plain and simple. I didn’t date because in my mind I would have felt horrible being in a relationship where I would have to try to fully know a person when I didn’t even know myself. That was the worst part of it. I was at war with myself, a battle that neither side could or would win. A battle that caught so many people in the crossfires of lust and attraction.

But luckily I had people and I was lucky those people were willing to stand by me, well, most of them anyway. My friends were the first to know, the first to get those two words, outing myself, ripping me from the closet I had hidden in for years. Now some of them weren’t as open to it. I even got a few who said, “Back the f*ck up!,” but I moved on. However, for those who were willing to stick with me, they helped me create a system of allies and friends that I felt would stand by me through everything. Friends that I honestly felt that I could trust this ‘secret’ with…”

Check out the rest of the story by clicking here.

Only 3 weeks and 3 days left until prom!!!

Look for these around the OKC and Norman areas….

And check out the tab labeled 2011 Prom for more info.

Youth, come to our Thursday meetings to 1) Hang out with the coolest people you’ll ever meet and 2) help us with ideas and crafting decorations for the prom.

This week: Harmonybot- the mannequin- gets a makeover.

KOKH FOX 25 :: Special Reports – Homeschooling for gay teens.

In case you missed it last night, click the link above to see the story from last night highlighting OKCYU and friends!

Thank you FOX25 for presenting OKCYU and youth in such a respectful manner.

Watch the news much?
Tune into Fox25 news at 9 pm TONIGHT (March 2, 2011) to catch a story about OKCYU. That’s right, we’re going to be on the local news tonight!
Here is their website, in case you miss it, I hope they post the story online after it airs.

If you’re visiting the website after seeing the story, please check us out! If you’re a teen 14- 20, join us on Thursday nights at 5:30. We watched the Trevor Project last week, and this week we will have something equally as fun and interesting to talk about.